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Cumberland is a small village nestled in the Brown Wizard Delta, celebrated for its picturesque landscapes and prosperous agricultural legacy. This tranquil farming hamlet was once a beacon of community spirit and high-quality produce. However, a corporate invasion by a branch of Hexxon drastically altered the town's character and lifestyle.

A map depicting various points of interest in Cumberland
A map depicting various points of interest in Cumberland


Founding and Early Years

Cumberland was founded by Arthur C. Cumber as a self-sufficient commune/homestead for himself and a few close friends but quickly blossomed into a much more complete town, with roads and farmland stretching out from the original settlement for dozens of miles in each direction. The impeccably fertile soil and temperate climate provided the perfect conditions for diverse crops and livestock, the abundance of which fueled a thriving local economy with the town's superior meat products and fresh vegetables in high demand across neighboring regions.

Corporate Invasion

In xx23AD, Cumberland was bought out by Hexxon. The introduction of a large amount of capital and installation of ruthless middle managers armed with a runiversal distribution network morphed the hamlet into an epicenter of industrial agriculture. The serene farming village was soon overshadowed by imposing factories and processing plants, producing mediocre meat products and frozen vegetables and shipping them everywhere from the Buffkin Plains to Fort Turtle. This drastic shift from Cumberland's traditional farming ethos greatly angered the locals, but allowed the brand of Cumberland to spread far and wide, soon becoming a household name.

The Great Rebellion

In retaliation to the corporate invasion, a group of citizens made up of members of the former Home Owners Association united to reclaim the town's former glory and eradicate Hexxon’s influence. It was clear that they had no chance at taking back the town on their own, so they invoked the formidable and fearsome Cthulhucumber to aid them in their pursuit.

With Cthulhucumber's assistance, the townsfolk conducted a ritual that bestowed life and purpose upon the mediocre meat and vegetable products manufactured in the factories. These reanimated products, deemed the Heroes of Cumberland, were imbued with a militant purpose and began waging war on their creators. This event was known as the Great Rebellion.

The rebellion was a tumultuous and chaotic conflict, with the reanimated products demonstrating an unforeseen level of tenacity and resolve. The plant managers and factory workers hired by Hexxon were unprepared for the uprising, and many packed up and left what had quickly become a dangerous work environment. A few notable managers held their posts and battled to retain control of their factories and shipping depots, most of them holed up in their offices withstanding prolonged siege.

The rebellion was effectively squashed when a marketing manager at Hexxon offered the then-leader of the rebellion a spot as the spokesperson for Cumberland Foods along with a hefty salary, which he immediately accepted, leading to a few other heroes to do the same. This spiraled out of control as the rank and file troops lost morale and lieutenants fought amongst themselves to decide who would be next in line for a brand mascot position.

Descent into Anarchy

Following the short-lived rebellion, Cumberland descended into a state of anarchy. The Heroes of Cumberland formed tribes and began quarreling amongst themselves over who would be the next Cucumdog Idol and the dangers and benefits of GMOs. Production in the Hexxon factories resumed as normal after minimal repairs and rehiring.

Notable Locations

The Cumberdome - An iconic structure in Cumberland, the Cumberdome is an amphitheater hosting concerts, plays, and fights to the death.

Hexxon Factory - Occupying the center of Cumberland is the sprawling Hexxon Factory, which is responsible for producing a myriad of food and beverage products for the company. Sections of the factory are subleased to Prowler Motors for the production of fuel cells and renewable upholstery materials.

Farmer's Market - Set up every weekend, local farmers and artisans bring their fresh produce and handcrafted goods, making it a bustling hub of activity.

Cucumdowns - A scenic hillock named after the cucumbers that grow in abundance here. It's a popular spot for hiking and offers a panoramic view of Cumberland.

Casey's Convenience Store - Open 24/7, this store is the lifeline for late-night snack runs and emergency supplies. It's run by an elderly couple who seem to know everyone in town.

The Drive-Thru - A modern addition to Cumberland, this McWazir's drive-thru serves quick bites and is a favorite among the younger generation and Morons of all ages.

The Garbage Plate - An oddly named diner, famous for its large portions and diverse menu. Locals joke about its name but swear by the food.

Cumberland River - The Cumberland River winds through the town, providing opportunities for fishing, boating, and riverside picnics.

Wastewater Lakes - Artificial lakes filled with runoff from the Hexxon Factory

Vienna - A small district within Cumberland, Vienna is known for its European-style architecture and boutique shops. The Back Nine - The last nine holes of Cumberland's golf course, known for their challenging terrain and mutant sand traps.

Backwater - A quiet, marshy area on the outskirts of town, it's a haven for birdwatchers and nature enthusiasts.

The Barbeque Pit - A large, charred pit filled with the remains of Heroes lost in battle. An everlasting charcoal ember burns eternally at its center.

Hog Island - A small island in the Cumberland River, it's a popular spot for camping and weekend getaways.

O - A run down donut shop that now serves as a makeshift fort for the forces of donut kind, O is routinely under siege by anti-donut heroes.